The Bad Wildlife Photography Wall of Fame

I am a really bad photographer. Don't mistake that for false modesty, any picture that has ever appeared on this blog that is not absolutely terrible has only arrived due to a confluence of dumb luck and filtering through hundreds of really crappy photos to pick out the least crappy of the lot. I love digital cameras, as I am no longer paying $30 for 24 terrible photos on the hope that one of them might be worth looking at again, and being disappointed.

So we travelled in Africa and saw lots of cool animals. Mostly, I just stood back and looked ,as any one of you (or me) can go to Google and search the Internet for a million photos of any given species any time they want, I am unlikely to contribute meaningfully to the existing database.

But delusions of grandeur affect us all, and I have a camera, so every now and then we tried to snap some photos. Here are the best examples of why that is a really bad idea.



Apparently a crocodile. Or a rock. Or neither. Who the hell knows.




There is an animal somewhere in this photo.

This one too. Somewhere around the middle.

This lizard is very small.

This one is fuzzy.

I have no idea what this is. Buffalo? Rhino? Something is lying on the ground a very long way away.

I think this is a pig.

Apparently a hippo.

This is definitely an ostrich.

I swear he was just looking at the camera!

As you can tell from his ass print, this is a different elephant than...

This one.

This one, you can't even see his ass. Damn.

For all of those, you can click to see in wide screen glory. National Geographic it ain't.

And this is only an example, we have more. Some people have asked if we were going to do a slide show. I think this is your answer.



Leaving South Africa

There is much talk about security in South Africa: is it safe?


There is no doubt crime, including violent crime, is a problem. That comes with the huge income gap and the legacy of Apartheid. There are areas of Jo'burg where it is probably unwise for a couple of Canadian tourists to pull out their Canon and start snapping pictures. People get mugged. But when it comes to actual risk-to-life, these areas are probably safer than the highways.

We travelled in Jo'burg by car and by foot, we did the same in Durban (where others had warned us death lurked around every corner). We hiked in rural areas of three countries, and went shopping in grubby downtowns, we drove through multiple police stops some seeming more official than others. We parked our rental in various spots, some more secure than others. We were, I think, "aware" at all times. There was once we parked at a shopping spot in a small town, and drew the attention of one rather nefarious-looking gent, and decided maybe we would forgo shopping here and instead shop in the next town. But really, we had no problems. We almost got out of Africa without getting ripped off or robbed once.

I say "almost" because we were about 100 feet from entering the garage where we were to drop off the rental, and we got waved down by a guy in a police-like uniform. The alleged offence was failing to come to a complete stop at a stop sign. At the time, we were slightly lost in the maze of airport ramps and highways: we were approaching every corner with caution. I have little doubt we stopped. This in a country where people don't stop at red lights, and stop signs are generally treated with contempt. Clearly, this guy is shaking us down.

He suggested we would need to go to the station and pay the 500 Rand fine. He expressed concern that this may mean we will miss our flight. When Tig lied and said we didn't have 500 Rand on us, but that we only had 100 (about $15), he was happy to take that on the spot. Presumably, he would deal with the paperwork hassles back at the station for us.

We travelled almost 6000km in Southern Africa, and we were 30m short of not getting ripped off by anyone. I just want to thank that cop for completing our experience

Apartheid Museum

Our last day in South Africa, and we had a few things planned, but ended up spending the entire day in one place: the Apartheid Museum.

We couldn't remember the last time we spent 5+ hours in a museum dedicated to a single subject, and never got bored or looked for the end. It was remarkable, both in the content and the presentation. It was shocking, enlightening, inspiring, and frustrating. It is hard to comprehend that a society that had segregated staircases existed in our lifetimes, but it was interesting to read how it grew from such obvious ideological roots (On quote from a Banto poet: "when they arrived, we had the land and they had the bible. They gave us their bible, and now they have the land"), Manifest Destiny, scapegoating the powerless, using assistance as a euphemism for oppression. It is all there.

One interesting touch is that when you buy a ticket, it is randomly marked "Blankes" or "Nie Blankes", and you are forced to enter the gate so marked. For the first part of the museum, the visitors are segregated, even see different displays, based on random selection of your "colour".

In the end through the uprisings, the oppression, imprisonments and deaths, the enduring message is one of reconciliation and of hope for the future. Even if this hope is tempered by apprehension over the slow pace of change in South Africa.

And through it all is the image of Nelson Mandela. His is a remarkable story. Amongst the multiple scenes of his life, one from the museum stood out to me. After is release and on the occasion of the opening of the new Constitutional Court in Jo'burg, Mandela commented that the last time he had been in a court was thirty years earlier, when they were deciding if he would be executed. There was an audible gasp in the audience upon hearing this, as everyone had the same thought: How lucky South Africa is that his life was spared.

This was a fitting end to our visit to South Africa, and a day well spent.

Growing Gaborone

Back in Gabs, we spent a lot of time checking out what the City had to offer. It is a fast-growing City. When Tig was here 20 years ago there was one "mall" to shop at, now there are at least 4 modern Shopping Centres, and more are being built.

If there was one concern, it would be the type of development we see. Shopping malls surrounded by parking spots. Four-lane separated highways connecting residential developments from car-oriented retail and business. Traffic jams. Here they are able to start basically from scratch with a blank slate, but instead of building a modern, functional City, they are repeating the mistakes made in North America 40 or 50 years ago. The developers and land speculators are controlling the development, and urban planning is limited to trying to keep up building the infrastructure links to support inefficient planning, with limited resources.

Regardless, it is a friendly, clean, and safe City, if a little chaotic in spots. We visited the understated but elegant Parliament Buildings, and the adjacent pedestrian mall. We also found some crafts worth bringing home, and drank excellent coffee (finally!).

We spent some quality time and had a lot of "in Canada" vs. "in Botswana" conversations with the African Wing of the Dixon-Warren Clan, including Tig's Uncle Colin Dixon-Warren.

Then we thanked our hosts and headed back to Jo'burg.

By the way, for those curious about the cricket, yesterday was the fifth and final day of the third test between South Africa and India. Although South Africa scored about 100 more runs, the test ended in a draw, after India stopped trying to score. The sport makes no sense. For all of you that call curling boring...I give you test cricket. Five days, five lunch breaks, five tea breaks, about 800 "runs", no winner.

We braved the highways of South Africa for the last time, and returned to the guesthouse in Melville where we started it all a month ago. We are both starting to think about home. Maybe a bit more red wine first...

In the green Desert

It seems silly to complain about lack of air conditioning or hot water or a pristine swimming pool when you are 100+km out in the desert. But this was the most expensive lodging we have experienced on our trip. Maybe not not Plaza New York expensive, but definitely equal to a night at the Hotel Vancouver, including a nice dinner at Bishops.  This may be Botswana, but is a hot shower too much to ask? This was not the worst place we have stayed t is trip, but it managed to out-do Oxbow Lodge in the lack-of-value-for-crazy-price category.

The next morning, we did manage to book a walkabout with a San "bushman" for a guide. There are no wildlife of note about, but instead he showed us some of the tricks of trade involved in eking out a meager existence in the Kalahari desert. 

He was able to point at some seemingly-random spot on the ground, start digging, and pull out an edible root. He had to dig to his shoulder to bring us up a wild carrot. He found water-containing gourds, the plant the hosted the caterpillar that was the source of the poison that allowed them to kill a giraffe with small arrows. He also made rope from a succulent, and demonstrated how to make a snare for fowl, and he had us making fire with two sticks. All very cool.

After, we raced an ostrich back to Gaborone.

To the Kalahari

The 4th of January. Canucks are leading the NHL, and we are driving into the Kalahari Desert and the Khutse National Reserve.

Being that this is summer in the Kalahari, it is surprisingly green and lush. December is the rainy season, and as of late there has been a fair amount of rain. By "fair amount", I mean the road to our Guest Lodge seemed like a washout at times. 

The Lodge is, as described by Tig, bizarre. In the middle of the desert, 100km from nowhere, a bunch of sparkling clean thatched  rondawels, a dining room for 100 in the palatial main lodge, an algae-green swimming pool, and no one here. An empty parking lot. No other guests, two young female staff who were able to register us, but that was the end of their English. There are suggestions of game-viewing drives, interpretive walks with San guides, but no indication of how to sign up for such. A real head-scratcher... but we came 100+km on deterioration dirt roads through a desert in the rain to this, so we will try to make the best of it. David Livingston didn't have it so good.

Now we find the actual Park is inaccessible to us. The sand is feet deep, and the ruts are such that it was rubbing the crankcase at times. Diahatsu is tough, but we weren't going to get stranded in the desert. No problem, the only other vehicle in the lot is a Land Rover, that must be for the tours.

When the manager showed up in the afternoon, he explained that they couldn't take us into the park, as their license to go into the park is expired. And they are out of pool chemicals. We are 100km from nowhere, the only guests in a 4-star resort, with no amenities. They have the original Trivial Pursuit game cards, but only half the game board.  Oh, it was recommended we not walk around at night, as there are puff adders, and possibly a leopard, about.

I guess we will retire early, when they shut off the generator. And our ceiling fan stops.

Still, the Kalahari, off in the flat distance, is beautiful. The sun set a long way away on a green horizon. As the stars (and snakes) came out, we tucked into their dwindling beer supply, and asked each other trivia questions from 1986.

Gaborone

We are staying in the leafy Suburbs of Gaborone, the Capital and largest city in Botswana. Botswana is a large country with a relatively small population, mostly clustered along the Southern border with the larger, more populous and more powerful South Africa. Much of the northern part of the country is barren salt pan and the Kalahari Desert, where there are natural resources and wildlife, but you probably wouldn't want to live there. The parallels with Canada are obvious.

Also, compared to South Africa, it seems a very integrated society. The gap between rich and poor is still significant, but much less profound than further south. Botswana has major diamond reserves, and the government is trying to leverage this boon to build a country with excellent infrastructure, hoping the seeds of a stable economy will come, and they will be ready for the inevitable end of the diamonds. 

We took an early-morning climb with Tig's cousins up Mt. Kgale, the "second highest point in Botswana" (did I mention it was a flat country?). The "Sleeping Giant" is a 1287m pile of weathered granite blocks, about 400m above surrounding Gaborone. The 45-minute hike up is popular for sporty locals, sweaty tourists, and the occasional baboon. Rather like the Grouse Grind. Except, of course, for the baboons.

We also took a much shorter hike up to Kobokwe's Cave (also known as Livingston's Cave),where the rocks here were quartzites and pebble quartzites. The legend around this cave involve the disappearance of a condemned criminal (Kobokwe) into it. After his mysterious (and therefore magical) vanishment, it became a convenient place to banish witches and other troublemakers. The story goes that Missionary David Livingston once accepted a challenge to spend a night sleeping in the cave. When he emerged alive in the morning, the local Chief was astonished, so impressed with the protective powers of Livingston's God that he accepted Christian Conversion for his people. And everyone in Africa lived happily ever after. 

The cave now appears to be a popular place for local youth to urinate.

We are enjoying the hospitality of family, and the relative cosmopolitanity of Gaborone before we head off for a couple of days in the Kalahari. Hopefully the rain we brought with us from Canada will stop soon (although the locals seem to appreciate it!)

Borders

While Vancouverites were ringing in the New Year, we were filling out a surprising variety of forms and presenting ourselves to numerous officious officials. 

As we are more than 16,500 km from home, Vancouver New Year arrived late morning on the 1st for us, while we were crossing a remote border post at Martin's Drift, into Botswana. 

Today was a driving day, from the Misty Mountains of Tzaneen to sun-scorched flatness at the edge of the Kalahari Desert. We saw the best of the worst in South African roads (120km/h nonethless). The roads in Botswana were generally great, and although the Batswana drive just as fast as South Africans, they didn’t seem as prone to pass around a corner our try to fit three cars abrest on two lanes.

So far Botswana is flat and featureless, so we stopped for photos at one important landmark: the Tropic of Capricorn. We had spent most of the day in the Tropics, but passed back out as we were approaching Gaborone.

Once here, we had a nice meal with Tig's cousin and his family. They had a lot of catching up to do, as they haven't seen each other in almost 20 years, whih is 4 kids ago for them!

Tzaneen

While up in the hills around Tzaneen, we popped over to Haenertsburg to do a 10k hike. It was a cloudy day, and being at altitudes between 1400 and 1600m, we were actually in the clouds for much of the hike. 

Here is Tig, at the high point on the hike; note the invisible majesty of the 2126m "Iron Crown" behind her.

Then from the tower point we weren't able to see Densey's Nose (1812 m) and Stylkop (1900m) on the horizon.

After passing "Patrick's Point" (assuming I had one), we stopped at majestic Jan's Knoll, where you note a bit of blue sky became visible.

The rest of the hike involved a few remnant natural tropical forests (a rarity in these parts), and a lot of pine and eucalyptus tree farms. 

There was even a spot known as "Eland Rubbing Rock". I had a photo of Tig rubbing her Eland, but it was a little shrouded by fog...

Kings Warden

Tzaneen is a quiet city in the low mountains west of Kruger. It gets hot and humid here, and the Tropic of Capricorn is close.

Sitting in the middle of South Africa, only a few hundred kilometres from the most southerly point in Africa, the correlation with North American Geography is difficult. We are about as far south from the equator as the south tip of the Baja Peninsula is north of it. There just isn't much land in the Southern Hemisphere. Add to this that we are one week from the Southern Summer Solstice, and that means the sun is essentially overhead at this time of year. It may be 30 degrees in the shade, but there ain't no shade.

Ironic, then, that Tig and I are staying at a place hign enough in the hills that there is a fireplace to keep us warm (we didn't need it, after two days in Kruger). Mostly, that is a result of altitude, as we are up around 1300m. 

In the valley below are mango and avacado orchards, with a few banana orchards thrown in for that tropical feel.

The "Kings Warden", where we are stating is an interesting site. A botique hotel surrounded by a few acres of manicured English gardens (or, as manicured as they can be in the tropics), and several dozen acres of Avacado trees. There is even a water feature with a swimming maiden

It is  run by a young (our age?) Belgian couple. The "he" is clearly a very competent chef. The views are great, the food is stellar, and the rooms are fabulous. The gardens are verdent, the weather is placid. We are taking a few days vacation during our vacation.

A great feature of the garden is a huge Bluegum tree that is still standing, 26 years after being struck by lightning. It is a stark contrast to all the tropical greenery.

Kruger Day 2.

We drove through the north part of Krugerenroute to our next destination. It was not as stinking hot today as it was yesterday, think "surface of Mercury" as opposed to the "surface of the Sun".

Today's highlights were definitely seeing so many elephants and giraffe that they became commonplace. We spent some time near one watering hole and watched the younger elephants battle (pretty tamely) for the finest bit of mud to wallow in.

We saw some crocodiles, just sitting there in the water daring us to come closer.

An offer we did not accept, nor did we when we got a close encounter with some spotted hyenas! They are much cuter when they are not gnawing on your jugular.

We will be spending New Years Eve in a cool (temperature and temperment) palacial mountain lodge in the hills above Tzaneen, overlooking valleys of banana, avacado, and lychee orchards. Sort of a tropical Okanagan Valley.

Happy 2011 Everyone.